Photag/Muah: Brittany Sherman
I haven't been online much this week because my computer wasn't getting good Internet connection but so far so good, I think it's a lot better now. Yeah!
So last week while I was walking to go pick up my daughter from school a thought hit me. I realized that perhaps some of you don't really know why I have been modeling. I thought I shared my whys but then the next day I got a reply on one of my posts asking me and so I decided I will defiantly share with you my full reasons of why I am modeling. I won't hold anything back and tell you really all the reasons why.
First, let me answer my readers question-No, I don't model at all for my husband. My husband thinks I am beautiful all the time so this isn't about showing him more of my beauty or to make him happy. He is supportive of all of it and is just cheering me on like the rest of my loved ones are. Thanks for asking!*smile*
The main reason why I decided to do this was a few months after the birth of my third child I just felt out of sorts, very hormonal, and very disconnected with myself and who I was. I always wanted to do some sort of shoot and then I saw an ad for Bettina May's Pinup Shoot and I signed on. That was in June 2011 and I loved every minute of it! It also helped bring me to blogging and on this incredible vintage journey that I am on.
Photag/Muah: Bettina May
The main reason I have now is honestly I feel like there has always been two parts of me. The physical part which is my human body and then part that's ME...really ME. The inside part. Now I am not going to get mystical or religious and it may sound weird but I have always felt this way. Maybe the combination of my disability and my mother's passing played a part in how I feel but I always felt that the part inside of me was so much brighter and more beautiful than the outside part.
I am not saying I don't think I am beautiful because I know I am. Just saying that the part that is ME is so much more beautiful and I am now using the art of modeling to find a way to get that part of myself to shine out more. Not hide it but to bring it forth and let all of that beauty that is in me come out. I don't know if I have truly captured through photos just yet all that is me but I am getting there.
I also model because I want to celebrate this post-babies body. Yes, I have a post-babies belly. My last child was all belly so I knew I would have extra skin afterwards. Honestly it does annoy me sometimes but most of the time I feel proud-kind of like a war wound. Kind of like the scars on my feet after all my surgeries. But this time three amazing people came from my body and when I look at my belly I am okay with it. Not happy with it but okay with it because it was a small sacrifice for what I got to have in the end. I would do it all over again in a heartbeat! I loved being pregnant and I love being a mommy more than anything in this entire world.
Muah: Brittany Sherman
Lastly, I model because I want to celebrate the art and beauty of times gone by. It makes me proud to do so and I love playing dress-up. Its something I never really got to do since my mother passed on when I was so little. I get to do it now and I feel so amazing!!
Modeling has given me a little or rather bit surprise. It has helped me begin to embrace my disability and my leg braces more. I did a shoot with Kay Murray in MO with them on and never felt so beautiful. I plan to do more!
So there you have it. My true and totally honest reasons why I am modeling. I hope you all can understand why I do it. And thank you for reading my ramblings :)